The weekend of October 5th was a huge weekend for me. I distinctly remember that weekend. For many reasons, it was one I will never forget. I remember that Friday night. Just Morgan and I, looking for something to do. Just Morgan and I, hanging out with a few friends. Just me, staying up all night with a boy I'll never forget. I never realized that I would unfortunately fall in love with someone so horrible that weekend, but everything happens for a reason. I will forever refer to the weekend of the 5th as the weekend full of accidents.
I remember that Saturday. So happy from the previous night. Life couldn't be any better. The one person I'd been pining over for so long, finally wanted me too. I remember that Saturday. Just a regular day of work. All smiles.
I remember that Sunday. Working. Too early in the morning to think. Working. In a stupid referee uniform. It was chilly and the skies were gray. Just me, standing there, interacting with every guest I see, doing my job like I do everyday. Just me, waiting for associates to get to work for the swing shift. It was 12:20. My pocket vibrates. I'd already gotten in trouble twice this year for texting at work. But, I had to at least look to see what it says. I wish I hadn't looked. Do any of you know what it's like to look at your phone and read that someone you know, someone younger than you, someone with so much more life to live, had passed away?
Sometimes, when I'm in class, I have to read things three or four times in order to understand the concept of what I'm reading. I wasn't in class, but this was one of those times. How could this happen? At 17, my brain couldn't comprehend something so ugly, so sad. My heart instantly began to hurt. Hurting for Jake, hurting for his friends, for my friends, for anyone who he ever crossed paths with.
I remember that Sunday. Leaving work. Calling my mom. Calling my best friend to make sure he was okay. He wasn't. I remember that night. That's the night when everyone decided to put aside their differences, hold hands, hug, finally just show support to one another. It was beautiful.Why did it have to be under these circumstances? It was at that point that we all realized how lucky we were to have known someone like him. I remember that night. I remember the hugs I gave to everyone. They were real. The ones where you're afraid to let go because you might fall down.
Jake, you will never ever know the impact that you had on so many people. I wish that I had gotten the chance to get to know you. The memories I have of you- of you throwing grass in my hair at camp, joking about how intense people got in ultimate frisbee- those memories will never fade. You were a truly beautiful person. You shined your light on so many people, and bettered the lives of so many. For that, I thank you. Some people need to see the light every once in a while. Thank you for providing that to me, and many others.
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The world is ugly, so do your best to stay beautiful. Make someone laugh or smile, tell someone you love them, show someone support, hold somebody's hand, send someone a "hope you're doing well" text, let somebody know you're thinking about them today.
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