Oh, Roger.

Let's talk scenarios:


Let's say....we know a guy named Roger. Roger is a pretty normal guy, except for the fact that occasionally, he likes to rob banks. It's gotten him into trouble before, but for some reason, he just keeps on robbing banks. Sometimes he gets caught, and sometimes he doesn't. Just a couple of weeks ago Roger robbed a bank. It was different this time; afterward, he found himself at the local police station and turned himself in. Expecting the worst, he put his hands behind his back, and hung his head low.


"Thank you for your honesty, Roger. You are free to go."


Confused, Roger walked out of the police station.


Learning nothing from the incident, weeks later Roger robbed another bank, and shot two people in the process. Roger didn't learn anything from his actions because there were no repercussions. Two people were hurt because of his foolishness.




When I was a child, if I did something I wasn't supposed to do, I was in trouble. Parents all have a different way of punishing their kids. Usually, I had to stand in the corner for five minutes. Oh! What a miserable life! But, if every time I stole an extra cookie, talked back to my mom or threw a temper tantrum, my mom laughed at me and sent me on my way- I would be a crazy, rebel, authority-hating bitch. Thanks, mom.


But seriously, where are the consequences? If the police would have arrested Roger, the whole mess afterward could have been avoided. Roger hurt two people because he was reckless and knew that he would not face the repercussions of his actions.


Owning up to the mistakes that you make is a huge part of growing up. If you are unable to do so, you're supposed to have real friends around to help you do that. Friends should not tip-toe around your feelings; friends shouldn't say the things you want to here. Friends are supposed to tell you straight up that what you're doing is either great or the biggest mistake you've ever made. At least, that's what I thought friends were supposed to do. But, maybe that's why I don't have friends.
And you know what? I don't care. I'm done surrounding myself with people who are going to cry to me when they're upset, but dump me when they're happy. I want to experience both of those emotions with you. Because that's what friends do.


I don't think that I can express my anger enough. Maybe I'm not being clear enough. No longer will I be the one to console you and give you advice, only to watch you make the same mistakes over and over. To me, a total disregard of my advice is the biggest insult I could receive. No longer will I allow anyone to twist my words and take my advice the wrong way. I do what I can to be honest with people, only to have it thrown back at me carelessly, or talked about behind my back. No longer will I allow people to make me feel unimportant. If you're too busy, I get it. But stop throwing out excuses every chance you get. It's insulting and immature.


My final piece of advice for all of you: grow up, own up and stop being silly.

Sing-a-long Sunday? 5 Song Sunday? Whatever.

I made a decision. I really liked my second to last post about the 5 songs I will always turn up in the car, that I decided I'm going to start doing it more often. Maybe every week. I love sharing music with people, and I think this will a great way for people to get to know me, or something.


Let's be honest, I hate driving. It stresses me out and I have terrible, terrible road rage. I am in a constant state of fear when I drive on the highway. I'm terrified someone is going to merge into my car, or slam into the back of me, or cut me off when I'm doing 73 in the left lane and they're doing 62....I pride myself on my driving abilities (minus the two speeding tickets...). The problem is, I don't trust anyone else. Listening to music in the car might be the only thing that stops me from pummeling the 86 year old man driving his boat of a Cadillac down I-71.


5 More Songs I Will Always Turn Up in the Car.

5. Cold as Ice- Foreigner

4. More Than a Feeling- Boston

***The remake of this song by Hit The Lights is also pretty great.

3. Ambitionz az a Ridah- Tupac



2. Location- Freelance Whales

1. Howl- Florence and the Machine



What are some songs you guys can't help but turn up in the car?

I feel like I'm in high school!

I haven't done a questionnaire like this since I had Myspace. But, I was tagged in a blog post by Brittany in her blog, Blogging Out Loud. I love things like this because I really like for people to get to know me. Maybe that makes me self-centered. Whoooopppss.But anyway, since I was tagged, I have to answer the questions and then I'm supposed to tag five people. I don't have five people, or five followers so I'll just answer them, and you guys can read them.


My Questions

1. Which Disney princess is most like you?
Well looks wise, Ariel obviously. I love having mermaid hair. But, I've always admired Belle and used to have dreams of being her at Disney World. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie. Belle has such a huge heart. But, in the beginning of the movie she judges the beast by his appearance and the first impression she got from him, which is exactly how I am with people. I'm very judgemental at first (I think that's a girl thing, really). But, I always end up changing my opinion of people.
2. What song do you have on repeat right now?
I have listened to the whole "Camp" Album from Childish Gambino every day on my way to school for the last three weeks. My most listened to song is "You See Me." You can listen to the song in my post from last night, if you're interested.
3. Who was your first crush?
In kindergarten I had a crush on a boy named Alex Perilockis. This was when I lived in New York so who even knows where he is now. It was love at first sight. But then, one day he kissed my hand and I didn't like him anymore. I guess 5 year old me just loved the chase.4. Where do you see yourself in five years? Be honest.
I would love to be living close to a city. Working in an entertainment/family-fun environment. If I could, I would work for the Cedar Fair Company forever. But who knows what I'll be interested in in five years.
5. Would you rather lose your vision or your hearing? Why?
Hearing. Life is too beautiful and I don't want to miss out. 6. What scares you the most?
2012. I'm not a crazy person, but my dad watches so much god damn discovery channel that I literally can't even think about it without my stomach starting to hurt.
7. When was the last time you cried?
What doesn't make me cry? Seriously. Last night, on American Idol, a girl auditioned who helped mentally disabled adults. Seeing how happy they were and watching them interact with one another brought me to tears.
8. What three physical attributes do you find most attractive in a guy?
I love good hair. I'm a sucker for a nice smile- mostly because my smile is highly unattractive. I also love a nice build. Skinny dudes are kind of gross, but if it looks like you could break me in half, I'm not interested. 9. If you had unlimited money, which store would you visit first?
H&M for clothes. But, Anthropologie for pretty much anything else. They have beautiful furniture and cute clothes as well but nothing is under $60.
10. What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Dr. Phil. I could watch him all day long.
11. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, which would you choose?
Shoot, that's a tough one. I would love to be able to play the piano. I love when bands have a keyboard, so I think it'd be really cool to be able to play. I've taught myself how to play notes to certain songs, but I can never do the cool two handed, weird foot pedal songs. That probably doesn't even make sense.
12. If you could have any exotic animal as a pet, which would you choose?

 

Bring it On, Life.

I already did a New Years post, but I think it's a new year, I'm going to introduce everyone to 2012 Meagan. This whole post is about to be about me and weird shit I like. Take it or leave it.


Songs That I Will Always Turn Up in the Car.

5. Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp



4. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard

3. Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult

2. Colors by Grouplove

1. You See Me by Childish Gambino

Things You Should Definitely Know About Me

1. I hate flakey people, and I hate being bailed on. I take it really personally, especially when it has to do with choosing someone over me. I think it's rude and I don't like rude people.

2. I hold a mean grudge. If you piss me off, I will not talk to you. I also will not apologize for your wrong doing. If you don't apologize, I'll make it a point not to talk to you. I don't care if that makes me a bitch, or a horrible girl; I deserve good friends who care about me and are willing to help me out when I need it- not when it's convenient for them.

3. Although I can hold a grudge, I also am entirely too forgiving (as contradictory as that sounds). Time after time I accept apologies and then the same shit happens to me. "Friends" should be friends all the time. That's all I'm sayin'. But I hate hurting people so I usually just end up trying to be friends anyway.

4. I love to have fun. I can make fun out of pretty much anything. I love going to the club with friends, I like playing video games, I like watching movies, and I like having drinks. I love just sitting at the bar watching sports like a dude or getting dressed up and drinking fruity drinks with my lady friends.

5. Over the past year I have gotten a lot better about talking things out. I used to just get pissed off. But, now I'm much better at dealing with my feelings and talking them out with whoever my feelings are toward. I do get overwhelmed with my emotions sometimes. I get those crazy girl kill people feelings. Whoops.

6. Still as tolerant as ever. But it gets harder with the stupidity that I hear come out of people's mouths sometimes.

Life is good. Graduation is in winter. So close I can taste it. I can't wait to get out of here, start my big kid life, and do something great for myself. I get a kick out of seeing all the people I went to high school with throwing their lives away with babies and military marriages. Have a good time.

I'm ready for summer (although it will be the shortest one ever). It's only six weeks long but I'm planning on making the best of it. Bonnaroo plans are in the works, but not definite. The absence of Girl Talk has made Kyle very uncertain about attending. Seeing the Coachella lineup is extremely promising though, so I'm hoping some of that spills over into Manchester, TN. I can't wait to sit in the grass, drink beer and listen to my favorite bands.

Things to keep in mind for 2012

This year is about me. It's not about you, your problems, or your life. 2012 is for me. Since everyone else gets to be selfish, I guess I will be too. Screw you and everyone else. I'm gettin' mine in 2012 (even though I dont really know what that means...)

I'm making new friends this year. Forget you if you blow me off. Forget you if you break a promise. Forget you if you talk shit. But most of all, forget you if you're just like everyone else- a complete letdown.

I want to make new friends. I need to surround myself with people who love kittens, people who love mustaches and people who love non-profits; but mostly I want to meet someone who secretly aspires to open a bakery as much as I do.

What are your resolutions for 2012? Is it the typical lose weight-eat healthy-love yourself resolution? Is it something interesting like finding yourself spiritually out in the grand canyon? Maybe its something simple, like being a better daughter/son/friend/lover. Since it is socially unacceptable for me to grow a sweet mustache, my resolution is to save up money for graduation. And I make a promise to you all: winter 2012, I'm out of here. (and I dont mean that in the apocalyptic sense)

the nights and days fly by when i'm lost on the streets.

Inspired. That's the only word I can use to describe how I feel on a day like today. Inspired; a word used by so many to describe how they feel today as well. Everyone: inspired. It's almost unbelievable that one person can have such an impact on a whole group of people.

The weekend of October 5th was a huge weekend for me. I distinctly remember that weekend. For many reasons, it was one I will never forget. I remember that Friday night. Just Morgan and I, looking for something to do. Just Morgan and I, hanging out with a few friends. Just me, staying up all night with a boy I'll never forget. I never realized that I would unfortunately fall in love with someone so horrible that weekend, but everything happens for a reason.  I will forever refer to the weekend of the 5th as the weekend full of accidents.

I remember that Saturday. So happy from the previous night. Life couldn't be any better. The one person I'd been pining over for so long, finally wanted me too. I remember that Saturday. Just a regular day of work. All smiles.

I remember that Sunday. Working. Too early in the morning to think. Working. In a stupid referee uniform. It was chilly and the skies were gray. Just me, standing there, interacting with every guest I see, doing my job like I do everyday. Just me, waiting for associates to get to work for the swing shift. It was 12:20. My pocket vibrates. I'd already gotten in trouble twice this year for texting at work. But, I had to at least look to see what it says. I wish I hadn't looked. Do any of you know what it's like to look at your phone and read that someone you know, someone younger than you, someone with so much more life to live, had passed away?

Sometimes, when I'm in class, I have to read things three or four times in order to understand the concept of what I'm reading. I wasn't in class, but this was one of those times. How could this happen? At 17, my brain couldn't comprehend something so ugly, so sad. My heart instantly began to hurt. Hurting for Jake, hurting for his friends, for my friends, for anyone who he ever crossed paths with.

I remember that Sunday. Leaving work. Calling my mom. Calling my best friend to make sure he was okay. He wasn't. I remember that night. That's the night when everyone decided to put aside their differences, hold hands, hug, finally just show support to one another. It was beautiful.Why did it have to be under these circumstances?  It was at that point that we all realized how lucky we were to have known someone like him. I remember that night. I remember the hugs I gave to everyone. They were real. The ones where you're afraid to let go because you might fall down.

Jake, you will never ever know the impact that you had on so many people. I wish that I had gotten the chance to get to know you. The memories I have of you- of you throwing grass in my hair at camp, joking about how intense people got in ultimate frisbee- those memories will never fade. You were a truly beautiful person. You shined your light on so many people, and bettered the lives of so many. For that, I thank you. Some people need to see the light every once in a while. Thank you for providing that to me, and many others.

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The world is ugly, so do your best to stay beautiful. Make someone laugh or smile, tell someone you love them, show someone support, hold somebody's hand, send someone a "hope you're doing well" text, let somebody know you're thinking about them today.

I will be 21 in 11 days.

And that is the only thing that's been on my mind. I can't wait. I've been the DD for far too long, now it's someone else's turn. Unfortunately, I've been so caught up on my birthday and all the things I have to look forward to, that I've found it really hard to write my finance paper. Not that this post is a blatant example of my procrastination...


I don't know where I've been lately. Obviously not on here. My biggest apologies to my two followers on here. Maybe if I had more interesting things to say, I would have more followers. But!, here are the things that have been occupying my time lately...

School.
Obvi. Yeah yeah school is a drag. I only go three days a week but it's still a challenge. I have the worst form of senioritis. College senioritis > highschool senioritis. I just can't wait to be done. Done with the pages and pages of homework, the papers, the proposals, everything. I do, however, really enjoy the projects I'm working on right now. A training manual? WELCOME TO MY LIFE. All I do is write and rework training manuals. (no sarcasm, I really do that at work.)

Work.
Finally winding down. Only working on the weekends. It's been a long, hot season; and as of recently, too fucking cold, and I'm pretty much as checked out as you can be. I still love my job, but I think it's time for winter. Chai lattes and scarves.


Current Obsessions:

Donald Glover/Childish Gambino. Yeah yeah you've seen him in Community and you know he's fucking hillarious. But, have you ever listened to his music? He's a genius and I encourage everyone to listen. Not to mention, he's good looking, 100% of the time.

Awkward. Such a funny show, and one of the best I've seen from MTV in a long time. The first season just ended, and season two doesn't start until next summer. Super bummed.


Done. Listen: